ascending.......

Sometimes it absolutely hits me like a ton of bricks, without warning. "I miss my mommy!!!". It's these moments when pain overcomes me and I feel at my weakest. As much as I love the way my life is going, despite my incredible support system, there is still one piece of me that is MISSING. It will be absent for the rest of my mortal life. I can't do anything to change it, get it back, bring her closer to me. If anything, the memories become fuzzier and that breaks my heart more than anything. Usually these moments come about in times of change. My life is 100% different than it was a year ago. Classes start tomorrow at yet another school. I'm meeting new people everyday (stressful for me) and I'm somewhat anxious about getting used to all these changes. It hit me this afternoon...the move went smoothly, I LOVE being near Brian. Mom wasn't here to help with this transistion again. This is one more life change that I'm having to endure without her.

These past few weeks I've felt like I was on a roller coaster. The part where you go up and up and up and up and today we got to the top of the highest part of the coaster. Tomorrow the descent begins. The dive into my new life. New school, new home, new friends, new family. Lots of new beginnings to look forward to. I try to focus on the future everyday it's just that once and awhile, I get pulled back and it's tough.

So, here goes nothing (and everything).

holding period

Ahh.. it's move in day. Parents are everywhere... my car is blocked in. That's fine though because I'm not allowed to leave until 4:00. I've been making the rounds getting aquainted with my floor mates. It's exciting to have people around; it's been so lonely the past couple of weeks. And quiet. It's kind of a hurry up and wait atmosphere around here.

It's 76 degrees today and beautiful out. I'm thankful for the bay window today. I'm reading my latest book, Time Traveler's Wife. It's sooooo good so far! I must see the movie once I'm done.

I joined the YMCA and that makes me feel good. My goal is to go at least 3 times a week. We shall see how that goes.

I'm really ready for it to be 4:00. Slept horrible and so a nap will be in order.

I'm thanking God for such a gorgeous day.

no corndog for u!

Somehow I went from a desk job to manual labor in a three-week period. I accepted a 'small' job cleaning a house today for my future brother-in-law. My body is sore...and I'm pretty sure I was high all afternoon from paint fumes. LOL. I guess it wasn't THAT bad but my back IS killing me.

The thing I HATE about relocating (and living in a small room) is that I never feel like I have everything I need. At home I have everything I could ever need, the creature comforts. Because I'm limited in space around here I can't possibly bring every necessity. I'm also strewn across three households right now, and that makes it hard to keep track of personal items. I wish I could just have three of everything... but I can't. I'm constantly thinking of things I need to run and pick up. Of course, without an income right now it's not that simple. *sigh*

Residents move in tomorrow 8-4 and Sunday 8-4. Boo... I'm anticipating a lot of questions and issues. I hope it's not too overwhelming. I'm real ready for classes to start. I long for a routine.

I've discovered the library here. It's absolutely amazing. That's what the photo is of. It makes me feel like I'm back in the 50's or something LOL.

23 more credit hours and I can move on! Don't get me wrong, I'm sure the experience here will be good. I need to learn to be okay with the present moment instead of longing for the future. The future is uncertain anyway.

God is in control! This much I know!

yesterdays bloggie.....

8.17.09
I can’t imagine how it would feel to be in a different country…just dropped off with no family, no friends, no resources. I don’t think I could cope. The loneliness, the feeling of isolation and fear.
International students moved in today. We have spent the day helping a few of them out. It’s got to be so humbling. Something as simple as a text to us is impossible for them. We have needs, we know where to go. These students are living in the United States for the first time and even basic needs are hard to fulfill. Where is the store? How will I get there? Where can I get food? Where am I in relation to… How do I buy books?
We have about 40 international students in this dorm. That’s quite a few. They don’t get to choose where they live, so I suppose it’s easy for the university to stick them in the non-air-conditioned dorm that has a bug problem. Can’t complain when there’s a scholarship involved, right? Right! I know that first-hand.
I hope I can help these students adjust. It is my job, after all.
I’m a little homesick, I’m not gonna lie.
It stormed today and it was amazing… off to bed to read.

It’s official. I’m the world’s most inconsistent blogger. I reeeeallly wanted to blog from Atlanta. Really was in the plans. I was just entirely too exhausted each day and used the few minutes before I passed out as relaxing time. I know it’s nerdy but I kind of feel like I should carry a tape recorder around to capture the stream of consciousness because I do develop a lot of brilliant blog material I just never go so far as to document it. It’s quite frustrating.
Atlanta (from what I saw, which wasn’t TOO much) is a pretty awesome city. We were able to explore a bit and it’s just super… got to the aquarium, saw the Coke headquarters and got to CNN Headquarters. There is so much to do there! It was hot. The convention was exhausting.
Oregon was an awesome adventure. I loved traveling everyday to new and exciting places. I got some amazing photos!
I now reside in a building built in 1856!!! Talk about character! I am loving my new home, and being close to Brian!!

I am going to do better at this!!!
Promise!

sigh

Hello blog of mine. It has been awhile. Convention time means hardley any idle time at the office, so that is one excuse for my lack of blogness.

Today I went with my two bff's to play board games with complete strangers! Apparently, there is a web site (I need to figure out what it is) where people look up people who have the same interests and then they meet up and share in their hobbies. Well, we met up with some interesting individuals and gamed it up all afternoon!! Pretty dang cool. Discovered some cool new games I'd never even heard of. I hope I can do that again... it was very fun.

Currently reading "My sister's keeper". It's wonderful, but heart-breaking. I hope to see the movie this week.

Leave for a few days for the doll convention....... It promises to be an adventure.

I move in 34 days! It will be so amazing to be close to my LOVE. Prior to that, I have my Oregon vacation to look forward to, which will be AWESOMENESS!!!!

I've been quite lonely as of late. A lot of times, alone time is good and neccessary for me but too much is just depressing.

WOOOOA... I have a bLoG?

I should work on this...........